Turning Over Old Rocks

My father was a bad drunk. Not abusive or angry, just an out-of-control, no-holds-barred narcisstic drunk. He had 3 marriages, a bunch of kids, went to jail a few times, lost jobs, wrecked cars, screwed all the housewives in the neighborhood, broke his promises, alienated his children. Pretty much made a mess of the whole […]
Just don’t call it cuddling.

Women have sex when they feel loved. Men feel loved when they have sex. Or, so I’ve been told. Treating sexually compulsive men, I’m often treated to a discourse on the biological reasons men need to have sex with multiple partners. It’s the women’s fault if they can’t understand this, and accept it. It’s the […]
Treating Methadone Addicts with Heroin

Last week my colleague, Bill Owen, and I gave a presentation at the annual conference of the CCAPP, (The CaliforniaConsortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals.) The topic of our talk was: Sex and Pornography Addiction in early Substance Use Recovery. Newly sober addicts tend to rediscover sex, and enjoy it in a way they never […]
What Are Friends For?

Las Vegas is the friendliest place in the world. It’s like Disneyland, which is the happiest place in the world. At Disneyland, there’s no trash, no crime, no poverty, no war. Everything is perfect. You are surrounded by plastic figurines meant to resemble various creatures, mice, dogs etc. all with huge fixed smiles on their […]
The Second Look

David walks into a restaurant, looks around and spots an attractive woman across the room. She is sitting at a table with a man. She looks up toward David, and their eyes lock for an instant. They both look away. A few seconds pass, and he turns to look at her again. As he is […]
Tic Tacs

Lunch time recently I was in a liquor store , buying a sandwich, not liquor. In front of me in the check out line is a big, red-faced guy. I can see he’s a heavy drinker; easy to spot; red faced, puffy, defocussed eyes, capillaries. I look down at the counter in front of him. […]
Where’s The Happy, Joyous and Free at?

Recovery from addiction is the road from a life of incomprehensible demoralization to one that is happy joyous and free. Those words come from the big book of AA, written in 1939, “Happy, joyous and free.” Wow! Who wouldn’t want that? But it is not easy, and it is not quick. It is difficult and […]